Recently, I was reminded of some issues and insecurities that I have struggled with for years. It is not like I just discovered them for the first time, but they became much more noticeable and moved to the front of my brain.
I learned somewhere along the line in my life that I never felt good enough. I took criticism to personally and felt that anytime something was pointed out about me, it was "wrong". Equaling that I was never enough.
Never what someone else wanted me to be
Never completed a task the way something else thought I should
Never measured up to the expectations that my parents put on me
Never looked the way someone wanted me to look
As time went on, I began to internalize these, well... lies. Let's call them what they are.
I kept how I felt inside because I always felt when I expressed my feelings, they were incorrect. It slowly began to harden me. And instead of making me want to try harder, it made me want to give up instead.
About a week ago, I remembered this author that I love. Her name is Holley Gerth. I could write a whole post about her books(and I probably will some day).
Holley has a way with words. Which is obviously important as an author. But she always seems to "hit the nail on the head". She is honest and encouraging. She is so insightful and knows exactly how to say something and make it stay with you.
I am currently rereading You're Loved No Matter What ( and I know I will be reading again many times throughout my life).
It is amazing how reading a couple pages lifts my mood and puts things into perspective. Below is something that I had to write down and continually remind myself of. I hope it reminds you of how wonderful God made you.
"Stop apologizing for who you are
Stop trying to downplay your gifts
Stop trying to minimize your successes
Stop trying to skim over your strengths with "oh, that was nothing" - It was not nothing.
It was the spark of God within you
It was what He created you to be, shining bright
It was what He called you to, coming forth into the world
Don't listen to the whiners, the discouragers, the critics, the good-in-your-life-makes-me-feel-bad crowd
You have nothing to be sorry for
Those things aren't a reason for an apology-they're reasons for gratitude, celebration and praise
Hold your head high, keep that joy in your heart. Let your light shine
It's the proper response to what God has done (and is doing through you)
And if anyone tells you to tone it down- they can take it up with Him"
I could go on and on about how wonderful Holley's books are, but sleep is calling my name. I decided recently to make more of an effort to erase these lies that I believe about myself. These lies are not from God - they are from the devil. And he is not worth my time. EVER.
Holley's book is helping me move forward in abolishing these lies. I HIGHLY recommend any of her books to you.
Please remember - God created you the way you are for a reason. Trying to change that is like telling him He made a mistake when He created you. God doesn't make mistakes. And He loves you now and forever.
Disclaimer #1: Holley is a working servant to Jesus Christ. She is using her gifts and talents to send God's truth to others. Even though her books are amazing, they do not replace God's Word. Reading the Bible is the best way to discover God's truth and love.
Disclaimer #2 : I was not contacted by Holley or her team to write about this. These thoughts and opinions are my own.